Mommy Update

This week has been one of the scariest of my life. I went from common complaining to being told to make a choice between my life/health and giving my son a better shot at his. I experienced a lot of 'firsts' including my first surgery, first hospital stay, first baby and first realization that my whole life has just changed. At first I struggled to fully grasp my situation and the feelings I've been having. I've learned a whole lot about premature babies, whats normal and that I'm not crazy for struggling with my emotions as I've been. Everyone has been extremely supportive and I'm discovering that I'm stronger than I ever thought I could be, which I hope lasts over the next three months and beyond.

The hospital out here and the staff are amazing! I've never felt so well taken care of or felt such concern from utter strangers. The nurses fill many roles from housekeeper to friend. Without their support and concern I think that this would have been a much harder process. I am still struggling to control my blood pressure and still have moments where I am lectured to take it easy, but most who know me know this will be a greater challenge. I will do my best to remember that I must take care of myself so I can be around for my Lucas and continue working with my doctors to find the right medication combination to keep me safe and healthy.

No matter what happens with my son or myself, I feel all of this is happening as its supposed and for a purpose. I don't ask why its happening to me anymore. I ask instead who is this going to make me be going forward. My challenges are so small compared to my son's. He is my inspiration and I cannot wait to be the mommy I've always wanted to be...   ~Kristen